Sorry to keep you all waiting too long but time was the exponentially varying waiting factor. Now I'll resume from where I paused.
Aarush Narrating: After one week when I was returning from the trip, I decided to ascertain what Aaisha thinks, feels about me. After some mélange, I texted her,
I want to meet you.
Oh you're here already? She replied.
No. I'm on my way. I answered bewilderedly, still confused how to put my words in front of her when we meet.
Oh okay. Tomorrow? Gulmohar Park? She articulated.
Not a problem for me. I replied, pretending to be in full control of my mind.
Okay then. Cya. Btw, missed you ;) She came up from nowhere with that miss you.
I was too dumbstruck to reply but somehow managed this, Oh is it so? That's news for me. :p Cya :D
I was dumbfounded and flabbergasted at the same time. Now I was more confident on my gut-feeling. I had to ask her. I had to ask her that does she feels the same way like I do? Does she gets bemused in daydreams like I do? Does she feels that feeling which is to be felt in love? Does she love me? My mind was occupied with bizarre thoughts. The time was passing with snail-pace. I was too eager to meet her. So much so, that impatient would be an understatement. When I reached home, I was so deeply lost in thoughts that I couldn't hear mom calling me for dinner. When I was sitting at the dinner table, the food seemed tasteless. I was smiling unnecessarily. Noticing this, my brother asked me in a joking tone, Abu mein aisa to kya hua ki teri hasee nahin ruk rahi? I decided not to answer and let him guess as much naughty as he want to, for I know what he was thinking. The night passed restlessly. I was up all the night like an insomniac. My mind retrieved that memory, that day when I first saw Aaisha. That innocent childlike face, big, athirst-for-love eyes, that pair of blush, rosy, luscious lips. A smile to die for, a seraphic angel as whole. She was flashing in front of my eyes. I tried to touch her and she vanished.
Next day I apparelled the best I could and reached the place much before the decided time. I was checking on my watch every now and then. Just two minutes passed and I felt like an hour passed. It was as if, the time was denying to pass or else, I was on the verge of going crazy. Just then, after like 10 hours as per my calculations, (20 minutes) I saw her coming from a distance. She was like a breath of fresh air, her beauty could easily put the best of beauty products at shy, her smile can turn a doomsday into a heyday, her picturesque face can make the photoshoped beauties go brainsick. She was more perfect than word perfect could ever be. In no time she was in front of me. I don't know what happens to me when I see her. My confidence was at sea. I was perplexed. The words I had in my mind were playing hide and seek in my mouth. I wanted to tell her what I feel about her, what she meant to me. But my tongue fumbled and my voice box let out a feeble Hi.
Hi! So, for how long have you been waiting for me? She inquired.
«Since ages» I thought. Um..not much. Just came, like a minute or two passed. I replied sheepishly.
Hmm..So how was the trip? She chirped sweetly.
«Was like the deadliest hell without you.» Thoughts could kill. Oh the trip! Ya the trip..um..trip was good. I fumbled again.
Good. So why did you want to meet? I mean, sudden plans! Just asking. She asked what I was fearing the most.
«Because I wanted you to know that I love you like crazy and want you to be mine forever», I'm sure,had I said that, result would have been a tight slap on my left cheek with the velocity with which Sachin Tendulkar sweeps his bat.
Uh..just like that. Hey don't you wanna eat something? I'm feeling elephants running in my stomach. I changed the topic.
She cracked up on my lame joke, I
don't know why. But she was looking more enlivened while laughing. Her cheeks were gone blush red. If one could capture emotions, I'd not miss to catch this one. (Technology sucks at such moments I tell you). After having some pleasantries, we explored the place and shopped for her. She shopped for me as well even after I tried to restrain. The evening passed in the blink of an eye. We were to part ways after dinner. We were sitting at the reserved table and I realized I was not hungry anymore, in fact what I was feeling was satisfaction. The satisfaction of she being happy, the satisfaction of she being with me, the satisfaction of destiny being so kind to me. So I decided to get the satisfaction of she being mine. I had to tell her in any case today before she leaves. So I clenched my fingers onto my palm to gain some confidence and narrated the poem I wrote for her, looking into her eyes.
Aaisha,
If the whole world would have been dyslexic,
I'd still want to read those beautiful pair of eyes.
If the earth had twice the gravity it has now,
I'd still want to fly with you in those skies.
If the whole world would have been filled with grief,
I'd still want to pour all the happiness on you.
Had this earth been working on the laws of falsity,
I'd still want you to believe my feelings for you are true.
Had the whole world been going down,
I'd still want us to rise above.
If the earth had a ground rule to hate everyone,
All I'd still give you would be pure love.
My palms were gone sweaty as I finished the poem. From inside, I was ready to face the most atrocious possible consequence. Aaisha went stone-dead. She was unmoved and as a result, I was petrified. I shook her, holding her shoulders. Aaisha! Aaisha!
She looked at me as if she was waking up from a long coma. I sensed she was crying on the inside. I felt it was the feeling of 'never loved'. I felt her soul was screaming at peak and she wanted to scream on the outside as well. I could see it in her eyes. These things just occurred in a matter of milliseconds. And suddenly she was back to her senses.
I..um..I should..uh..I think..um..I think I should probably get going. Before I could say anything, she stood up and rushed towards her car. I just stood there dumbfounded, watching her gone. The car vroomed away leaving a cloud of dust behind. I was still standing there, watching the cloud vanish too. A train of thoughts started running in my mind. Did I do something wrong? Did I rush in too early? But she gave all the hints, or I just assumed they were hints? Am I not up to her mark? Was she shocked on I coming up with this from nowhere? Oh hell yeah she was shocked. What was I thinking! Or maybe... Nah! Can't be. I don't think so. I was trying to rule out the most horrid possibility. Or maybe she has a boyfriend. Does she?
But she never talked about it. I was trying to convince my mind.
Because you never asked. Mind shoot back with loads of negativity.
I decided to ask her about it and started to head home. My head was feeling heavy. For a second I thought I'm surely going insane. I couldn't sleep after I reached home. I guess my eyelids shut way after 6 a.m. I woke up to a text from Aaisha. It said,
I'm sorry I was kinda rude yesterday. But main kya karti? It was a shock-and-awe moment for me. I never knew tum itni achhi poems likhte ho. Really nice. But..I'm sorry Aarush. I can't be with you. I'm already in a relationship with a guy since four years now. I'm really feeling guilty for not letting you know this before. I didn't want you to judge me. But I wish this boyfriend thing won't affect our friendship. Will it? Reply asap. I'm worried. :(
The text was an hour old. I reread it just to confirm that what I just read was actually written and my mind is not playing some kind of devilish game with me. I so wish it were a dream. Alas! It was actually the bitter truth. I read it again and again. I felt like I'm going dyslexic, later realised it were the tears that made the vision blur. I felt my heartbeat running slow, an unbearable, ineffable pain surged into my chest like someone pierced my heart with an intoxicated thorn. The pain crescendoed in no time like someone was stabbing my heart with a butcher knife and stomping it with horsefeet. Suddenly the air was unbreathable, the thoughts were unthinkable, the food was uneatable, the water was undrinkable. The life, unlivable. Yes! It was a heartbreak. I guess it was the payback of what I did with other girls in past being a so called "player". And no, I didn't reply back. Because I'd be lying to Aaisha and moreover to myself, if I tell her that I can be just friends with her. Life is no Bollywood film where you could go and beg mercy from your Ex-es and when you get it, your love of life comes seeking you. No! This was not a Ranbir Kapoor acted Bachna Ae Haseeno, it was my life. Months passed in grief. I even grew my beard heavy to make myself look Devdas and started consuming alcohol too. I thought liquor would ease the pain. But that is a myth too. It was too late for me to realise this and the semester ended within a blink of an eye with a decade long six months in it. I had failed in my finals. That's when I realised what I was wasting my time for, why I was not seeing my parents' dream, why I was chasing a mirage! I changed.
After graduation, I was placed in a MNC in one of the best IT cities of India. Salary was more than enough and life was treating me well. Friends were always there. Girls never became a priority after that incident. Last year, it was my betrothment. My fiancée Kia is my parents' choice. When I'm writing this, I'm holding a wedding invite which has Aaisha Weds Aniket embossed on it. Surprisingly, Aniket is not Aaisha's boyfriend. Her family is too orthodox to let their daughter marry a guy of her choice. The whole boyfriend thing was a lie. She told me this a week ago. She loved me too but was afraid her parents would never approve anyone she chooses. Just One Step of hers and everything was changed. But life moves on. I'm pretty happy in my life. And I wish the same happiness to her too. She has asked me to attend her wedding so we could meet probably for the last time. And yes, I'm going tomorrow.
So actually, Aaisha lied to Aarush. In fact, she never had a boyfriend in first place. But both are happy in their lives now. I feel somewhere, that Aaisha should have taken the chance. Who knows, her father might have agreed as they were family friends and life would have been a never ending love tale for them. Sometimes we have to go against all odds to win, to survive. Well, not all love stories have happy endings, but most have satisfactory endings like this one. Lets just say, Aaisha and Aarush were made for each other but were not meant for each other.
Just One Step can make or break anybody's life, but we need to take it. I've written some lines on it.
"If you love someone, be strong, take a stand. No matter what happens, don't quit the chase;
Because, Just One Step and everything crashes, Just One Step and everything falls in place."
